By Hassan Mohammed.
If you are a Christian, most of what is contained here does not affect you, except for the purpose of knowledge. As for the Muslims, let us talk please. Please, you can correct me, if I’m wrong or may have misrepresented Islam. even as I’m not preaching. I’ll just rant.
You see, I deliberately avoided direct discussion of the case of the woman that allegedly stabbed her husband while he was praying. First, I’m angry some people will want to justify murder. Some are saying, “the other side of the story” or “she must have been provoked” or “self defence”.
She first bit his ear off. Bleeding, he went to hospital to treat it and came back, and she stabbed him as he was in a position of rukūu (bowing) wile he observe salat (prayer). That’s premeditated murder in my book.
Secondly, it is looking more to me as if some want to turn it to be verdict on all women. Or it is more alarming to them because it is a woman killing a man. Violence by all genders must be condemned. So much noise is made here compared to the fact that just last week another man murdered his wife with a chair.
May be it is because the couple in Kano are poor or the victim is a woman, and the one in Abuja are children (suspect and victim) are children of the super rich. There is also the case of the woman in Osogbo, Osun State, who smothered her husband with pillow as another man stabbed him to death minutes after they had sex.
But I cannot help but notice the fact that the guy that beat up his wife with chair to her death and the woman in Osun did not make headlines. Is it that we are not touched much if it is a man killing a woman or poor killing each other?
Second, however we look at it, whatever the motive for the woman’s action, she is a killer. The argument will only be to decide her state of mind, the extent of infraction and punishment. I believe she is a psychopathic, cold-hearted killer. My belief and opinion are useless.
But I, however, have problem with one stupid term that people are using in relation to this particular case; and it is “infidelity text message”. And that is the thrust of this post. I don’t think in relation to this couple, or any Muslim couple, there can be anything called “infidelity text” in Islam. Again, I brought in Islam because both suspect and victim are Muslim. In Christianity, infidelity text is a big YES. But in Islam, NO.
Sorry, I’m going to catch a lot trouble, but truth must be told, if you are married to a Muslim man, you are potentially one of 4 likely wives. Any text message that comes into the man’s is from any woman is one of the potential 3 other wives, It may be considered unfair but he can marry 3 more wives.
That is a choice and option for the man to have more than one wife. The only choice or option for the woman is to refuse to be a part of it; to opt out of the marriage by demanding for divorce.
This should not be confused as me saying men can not be referred to as cheating against their wives in Islam. No! But unlike in Christianity where once you are married, any communication with another woman assocated with love is considered cheating, in Islam it is not. Unless there is actual sexual relations, then it is more than the mere terminology of “cheating”, it’s illegal, a punishable crime even.
And coming back to this crazy murderer, she knows that her husband can communicate with any other woman on phone – voice or text. He has room for three more wives. At least, he divorced his first wife, her friend (I heard), to marry her. How were they communicating while he was still married to the first wife? She was stupid to think she will have him all to herself.
It is like the Nigeria national team player, Ahmed Musa. He wanted to take a second wife the first wife, who is a Muslim said, No. He insisted and did it anyway. The first wife sought for and secured divorce. The second wife, now the only wife, who is a Christian, should know what she is getting into and the kind of man she is marrying, a polygamist.
Should Musa add a new wife, she cannot complain. I think the Yorubas have the best answer to this. They say that “the cane that was used against the first wife will be kept in wait for the second wife” or something like that. It is either he add another wife or throws her out for another. Her existence as his wife is her sign of things to come.
If a woman is a Muslim or married to a Muslim, why check the person’s phone? What is the point? I don’t expect any woman to be happy to share husband with another woman. But she should know what she is getting into; a relation with a man that can marry up to 3 more wives. It is what it is. But for a Christian, may be she can, within reason, check if she suspect he is not ‘faithful’.
I don’t check my wife’s phone. What for? She doesn’t check mine. And she can if she wants, but she will not pick up my phone and check. And she has all my passwords from e-mail accounts to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I gave all to her.
Few weeks ago, I was in a conversation with our good friend Dr. Musa Mbahi, I told him my wife has all my passwords, PINS and patterns to my e-mail, social media accounts, my ATM, pension and online banking accounts, and he asked me why. I told him, I fear that there is death, and I can die right now. If I die I want all the social media accounts deactivated.
I didn’t give because I was honest. Even though I will not add wife. Seriously, I will not. I cannot meet the conditions. Plus, I told you I’m a problem unto myself, let alone handle the extra baggage. I’ve never ever promised my wife that she will be the only wife. But as a product of polygamy I know she is. I can’t stomach the wahala.
It is not because I’m clean. It is because I have nothing to hide, whether I’m doing good or bad. And SMS messages do come to my phone. I gave the numbers and pattern because my childhood friend, Abubakar Attahitu, died last year and his Facebook account is still active. I don’t want that. I know she will close the accounts permanently.
In sum, nothing like infidelity text message, Even more important, for your peace of mind, to avoid heartbreak, stop checking your spouse’s phones or the messengers. If you do, whatever you see, take it. No questions. STOP!