FORGET THE DICTIONARY …This is the true meaning!


Ignore whatever u've been told, dis is d real life meaning of some words……
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and ur early when they are late.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and shakes your confidence after elections.
Doctor : A person who kills your illness by pills, and kills you by bills.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
ABBREVIATIONS
S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping
H.A.T.E.R.S = Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success.

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6 Comments on "FORGET THE DICTIONARY …This is the true meaning!"

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DANBUZU
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NEW VERBS HAVE BEEN ADDED TO THE DICTIONARY1. Ribadu /riba:Du/ [vb] – To be spontaneous and passionate about issues or youthful exubberance in espousing your points with vast exposure and acceptability E.g. Kelechi the orator ribadud yesterday during her class debate. Other usage – ribadu, ribadud, ribaduing!2. Buhari /booha:ri/ [vb] – To lack the physical and mental stamina to articulate your arguments due to old age. E.g. While addressing journalists yesterday, Obasanjo buharid in his argument for the return of PDP. Other usage – buhari, buharid, buhaaring!3. Shekarau /§ekaRau:/ [vb] – To perform above expectation by out-shining and intimidating your opponents using intellectual 'shakara'. E.g. If Sanusi had participated in that debate, he would have shekaraued the others! Other usage – shekarau, shekaraued, shekarauing!4. Gej /gedg/ [vb] – A new form of exam malpractice where a student chickens out of an exam because the questions were not made available to him/her in advance. E.g. Students of nowadays are very good at gejjing exams! Other usage – gej, gejjed, gejjing

DANBUZU
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ENGLISH MADE IN NIGERIA==========================*Please DRESS Back*….*I Will KIDNAP ur Maths note tomorrow*….*Mummy HAVE come*….*I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU*….*See as u BAFF up*….*Put d bread inside NYLON*….*Africa Magic did not SHOW the Film*….*I strong KAKARAKA*….*Go inside and watch d match i will spy withone eye from the window*….*Pls help me SLOW that fan*….*Have they BROUGHT light?*….*Oya come and be going*….*I KUKUMA don't have ur time*….*Shebi u have BB charger*….*Is that how to WEAR cap?*….*My Daddy have not Come*….*See how her eye is entering my food*….*The FILM is SWEET*….*Have u paid ur school fees MONEY? *….*If I hear pim, u go hear weeen*….*Did u SEE d sound of my ringtone?*….*I know u have come since because I HEARperfume*….*This Boy have STRONG HEAD*….*Allow me let me talk*….*Don't u want to chop rice beforeDISCHARGING*….*Teacher u are BLOCKING me*….*I have LAUGH tired.*They HAVE cut our light*….*Why did u MARCH my leg*….My PEOPLEAdd More les have FUN…..lol..

DANBUZU
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Some Grammatical sentences/phrases made by Our Dear First Lady, Dame Patience Jonathan:1." My Husband and Sambo is a good people…"2. "The President was once a Child and the Senators were once a Children…"3. "My Fellow Widows…"4. "A Good Mother takes care of his Children…"5. "The people sitting before you here were once a children…"6. "Yes we are all happy for the effort, it is not easy to carry second in an international…"7. "The Bombers, who born them? Wasn't it not a woman? They were once a Children now a adult now they are bombing womenand children making some children a widow…"8. "My Heart feels sorry for these Children who have become Widows by losing their Parents for one reason or another…"9. "We should have love for our fellow Nigerians irrespective of their NATIONALITY"…10. "Vote UMBLELLA and pless your finger for UMBLERRA…"11. "At least we all have HiV AiDs except that some of us are negative & some of us are positive…" (From her World AIDS Day speech)12. "I donate my family on behalf of 20 million "13." History'll not be completely without Ojukwu…"14. " Ojukwu is a great man, he died but his Manhood lives on"15. "I will rather kill… Read more »
DANBUZU
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Trust Nigerians. We shall continue to add to vocabulary.New word innovated…Farouk (VerB): To collect bribe and deny it, attributing evidence to video doctoring. Past tense: faroukedExample: To farouk is humanFarouker (Noun): A person who farouksExample: The National Assembly is populated with faroukers Faroukee (Noun): A person who is faroukedExample: The desperate contractor became a faroukee in order to win the businessFaroukology (Noun): The study of bribe collection and denial of obvious evidenceExample: The politician has a degree in Faroukology from the University of CorruptionFaroukracy (Noun): Government of bribery, by the bribe givers for the bribe takers Example: Our nation has been practicing faroukracy from independence. Faroukism(Noun): The political ideology of bribery, corruption and cover ups.Example: EFCC has prosecuted many advocates of faroukism Faroukiosis(Noun): A chronic disorder of bribery taking and denial Example: The doctor diagnosed the young politician of acute faroukiosisAdjectiveFaroukish: having the appearance of, or relating to bribery and denialExample: Results of the investigation appear really faroukishAdverbFaroukistically: Carried out or done in a way that suggests a faroukExample: The lawmakers carried on faroukisticallyEnjoy your weekend!More –> http://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=382227018503876&id=121127554613825&_rdr

DANBUZU
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WORDS YOU CAN ONLY HEAR FROM A NAIJA!!1. Insult upon injury2. Nonsense and Ingredient 3. If I sound u ehh, I will soon slap you4. How Far?5. Can I see your particulars?6. Anything for me sir?7. Are you mad? 8. Half-caste9. Next tomorrow10. Make I come block you dia11. Lie, Lie12. See me see trouble oh13. Shift small for me lemme sit 14. abeg vamus / abeg commot15. nonsense say wetin happen16. Abomination17. Over my dead body18. God forbid bad thing19. I need to retouch my (h)air 20. any word with 'bloody' e.g. bloody fool, bloody liar, bloody idiot21. Na wa oooo22. Tell me something23. Why do you want to know my name?24. Abeg joo25. Can u imagine…..26. wonders shall never end/cease27. Tofiakwa (n some people feeling janded will say TUFI!!!!) 28. Chei, Kai29. Oya me we dey go30. Hold on lemme branch somewhere31. Come and Escort Me32. Stop at that junction over there 33. Borrow me your pen/biro34. Still yet35. Me and you will enter the same trouser36. You are so annoying37. Why? Because Y has a long tail and branches38. What is the time? Quarter To buy your own39. Effico40. ITK- I too know41. Muumu 42. How are… Read more »
DANBUZU
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Killing English1. Principal To Student…" I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette… ? "2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"3. Once Hindi Teacher Said…."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches…Otherwise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down…..6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem. And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not Oning" (Ing Form Of On)7. Teacher In A Furious Mood… Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!8. "Shhh… Quiet… The Principal Is Revolving Around College"9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids"10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us… "My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My Daughter"13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"15. Lab Assistant… Read more »
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