Naja´atu Abdullahi Abubakar suppose to be my wife since July,2008 until when her dad disqualified me five (5) days to the wedding ceremony after two (2) consecutive postponements. …
Naja´atu Abdullahi Abubakar suppose to be my wife since July,2008 until when her dad disqualified me five (5) days to the wedding ceremony after two (2) consecutive postponements.
While waiting for Clarion Call after my University graduation in 2005, I accepted temporary teaching job at Bristow International College, Zungero Road, Sabongari-Kano. And still during that period, the runners of night schools for Islamic lessons in our area (PRP Quarters, Gama) unanimously agreed to start a voluntary joint weekend-morning session, I, not being a teacher in their night sessions, I forwarded my request to teach Arabic Language, a subject initially not In their curriculum, and I was granted.
To me, Fadila, Naja´atu and Usaina are the most intelligent and hardworking students, among the so many obedient and respective most senior students in the amalgamated weekend-morning session. Thus, I made regular inquiries on them from anyone that is due to give reliable information. Moreover, this three (3) students, are among those schooling at Maikwatashi Government Girls Secondary School, Igbo Road, sabongari-Kano. And they do track to school sporadically, and since we lack adequate space in Bristow College, we use to conduct our assembly outside the school premises. Thus , they sometimes see me and even greet me; and every where they see me, even in a crowd, the respect manifests. This attracted my attention more and more, reasoning in my mind, ´Perhaps the lots and arrows might one day be casted upon one´.
Zaliha Yusuf, the then pupil at the Koranic Memorization Section of Arwa´u Islamiyyah School, a Fulani teenage, was the one I was craving for, despite of the big competitive challenge ahead, I made all my possible attempt to lead the league of the competitors, but unfortunately, I could only attained second position, while one Bashir led the league. when I left for Cross River State, for National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), my weakly attendance sheet started recording zeros, and there was no communication between us since she handled no phone. Consequently, Bashir won the tournament, and finally she was betrothed to him, and that was the end of that line.
By January, 2007, the national assignment was over, I was back to Metropolitan Kano; and that was the year I planned to get married. Although no permanent job at hand, and in spite of multiple ladies waiting for my approval, and even from among my relatives; I still face the world to spread my net.
At Imamu Adam Amalgamated Islamiyyah School (That is the name given to the weekend-morning session), Fadila was not only betrothed, but got married to one Auwal. It was Naja´atu and Usaina left now. Although Naja´atu is recorded to be the best student in the entire school, I still have to screen them, though my mind is satisfied that I can take any of the two as spouse, I still Have to consider some certain factors of my personal likes. Finally, I selected Naja´atu; the problem now is how a teacher would approach his pupil with a word known as ´LOVE´ in his mouth? If it were not my pupil, forget! I have the heart; but it´s ´my pupil´. I finally contacted one Mallam Basiru (a.k.a. Tsuket) to councel me on how to solve this, since all arrangement on his marriage with one of our student of the very school were then over; therefore, he must be well experienced on how such cases should be faced.
I finally transmitted my request in written to her, through one Muntari, Mallam Basiru´s cousin. Meanwhile, I and Mallam Basiru inquired from one A´isha (Now Mrs. Bunyamin), a friend to her. And she confirmed to us that her friend is still ´for sale´, she is not betrothed to anyone. However, Naja´atu replied my four (4) foolscap pages written request with Three and a Half (3 1/2) pages, revealing that it was just a week late, that she was just betrothed. Moreover, Naja´atu still invited Mallam Basiru and me to A´isha´s house, where her mouth reconfirmed what was written by her hand. She added that: Before I left for Cross River State, she really feel me, she loved me so much, she was only afraid of the consequence if she was to forward it to me being her teacher, unknown to her that the same thing was in my heart. ¨Had it been I am aware that this day will come, I would have not accepted the previous offer. Surely, God must have kept something in hidden. And if not I don´t want make my father irresponsible in the face of earth, I shall surely invalidate the previous engagement, being very sure my parents will only give to me whom I want. Despite all of these, I suggest we should not give up; we should just continue to pray, ´We plan, God plans, and God plans best´. So, it will be better if we keep in torch; anything can happen¨. She admitted.
Despite the fact that, I was shivering, my voice was shaking, having perceived the implications I still have to re-admit a party of my appealing: That she should please help me and keep my unsuccessful approach secret among her colleagues; because they may be looking at me somehow. ¨You should not bother yourself¨. She re-admitted and re-admitted.
Immediately I returned home, I fell on my back with my face toward heaven, and I began reasoning in my mind: A´isha, being one of the closest to Naja´atu, should be in better position to be aware of all what she was saying if she was truthful. And I continue to recall all what I could, in order to identified her words as either ´true´ or ´false´ before I finally junked Three-Quarter (3/4) of it; not only that, I conclusively binned the entire matter.
It come to past that I could not even position myself in places that I am sure she might see me, although I have been engaging in unnecessary activities in places and times that I am sure she must see me, most especially on her way back from school. What a shy is this?!
While I put her issue behind, because I believe there was no hope. Naja´atu continue to extend multiple of greetings to me, a sign that she was developing more and more interest in me. A phenomenon that encouraged my return to Imamu Adam School. before you know it, not only reuniting, but a mutual relationship began. Although she allowed me not knock her father´s house door for her, because she was not expected to attend to any other lad in the name of love since she was betrothed to someone, otherwise her father will be considered irresponsible by the society as she said, she later granted me license. Moreover, she request that she visit and greet my parents which she did. That was how I continue to reign.
THE BEGINNING OF PROBLEMS:
While we enjoy a mutual understanding, one Isa Dabchi, the leading contestant for taking her as spouse. Although from the beginning she disclosed his issue to me,and I regarded him not as any threat , he succeeded to induced her father to distroy the growing relationship, an action which the father was not succeeded in the first place.
Isa Dabchi, with his ancestors of Borno State origin, is now a Nassarawa Local Government of Kano State based politician. He loved Naja´atu so much that he spent a lot on her. He was opportune to be discussing the matter with her father. So, when I jumped from no where and even succeeded in overthrowing him from the throne, he was heavily shocked: A lot of his actions confirmed that. He then decided to take all possible measures toward restoring his initial status, an action that was defeated by student-teacher-relationship; I believe this favored me a lot. Even though he has been delegating elderly people to go and make a false allegation on me in addition to his, I continue to be on top until one day when her father warned her not to attend to me anymore. And this incidence was on Friday by Saturday morning, we united at the morning session school. By that time the name Imamu Adam Islamiyyah School was only in history. The school was shot down by its initiators as a result of understanding and interpretation of some aspects in Islamic jurisprudence differently by the teachers who divided into two (2) parties base on the sects they follow. And the party that pressed that the school must be closed were not attending anymore, yet the school is in one of their night schools. At last, the school´s lessons were relocated to the site of Kulliyatut Ta´alim Islamiyyah school, a school that runs in the night and evening belonging to the serious party, thus, I joined them.
As usual, the school closed at Eleven o´clock, while I, Mallam Rabi´u and Mallam Sani Taska remained in the school premisis chatting, a messenger was sent to call me, when I asked him the sender he said two ladies, and I understood.
I met Naja´atu at her colleage A´isha Sabitu´s residence as usual. while we began talks, she started shedding tears, an action which I insisted to know why about. Naja´atu later suggested that we separate, when I enquired why, she replied that she cried and cried until she was tired overnight, and that was due to the instruction given to her by her father, that he don´t want to see her with me anymore. By that time it was already rainning, she was in the house entrance while I was standing outside, the water landing from the roof had already wetted my feet. Naja´atu suggested that I get into the entrance because of the rain, in order to show her that I was touched by her father´s action, I remained domant inside the rain, she called my name almost half dozen but I remained quiet. This forced her to admit that I should not bother myself, her father has been induced, but she will try all her possible best to see that things are in order.
At night of that very day, I met the father begging that he pardons me for the fact that I started relationship with his daughter without his permission. ¨No! This is common in contemporary Hausa land¨, he responded. ¨Anyway, I am formally requesting for permission¨, I re-admitted.
A couple of days later, our relationship became better than before. The relationship continue, sometimes smoothly and sometimes roughly as so many other problems were introduced by my top rival and his allies. A period that I suffered great agony, a period that forced me to made a declaration to Naja´ atu almost thrice, that I have exercised patience and off myself, let Isa Dabchi continue. Whenever we have such occurrence she would come and forced me back into the relationship, saying I have no right to quit because of what she called minor problems, since we have mutual love (This section requires more explanation, but I will only summarise so as to make the note less bulky). ¨ Today is the final, I will never be in love with you as far as you kept someone standby beside me, perhaps you decided not to discard him completely because you have no trust in me, incase I disappoint you, then he takeover. For how long would I be telling you to stop him, and your response is no more than you want to separate with him in a peaceful manner, while you are very much aware that he is responsible for Three-quarter of our problems. so you select, either ´me´ or ´him´. I can no longer endure such a curable tension, now the decision is with you¨. These was the heavy words I casted upon on one Saturday. By Sunday, she declared him ´ex-boy friend´. That was where he was terminated. But from his side, I cannot identify with evidence, the specific reason why he decided give-up. That was the beginning of another period of calmness.
By the beginning of the year 2008,I was already employed by Yahuza Suya Spot Nigeria Limited, I only visit Musawa and Kano occationally since my new job relocated me to the Federal Capital Territory.
My relationship with Naja´atu was very smooth by this time. As usual, her words no more than send your guidians to my parents to discuss the issue behind our marriage. At last, a deligate from my family arrived there for the issue, as usual, they arrived with a token amount of money that will serve as comfirmation, and will prevent other lads from her. Unfortunately, the father refused to accept the money, they insisted and he insisted as well; at last he won. And they returned home unhappily.
I was very unhappy and she as well. The two of us were in great agony. I together with my people continue to lovey Mallam Abdullahi, and finally he granted us permission but not with ease. A couple of weeks later, tens of women from among friends and relatives stormed Mallam Abdullahi´s residence for the formal engagement, and that on the 19th of Octover, 2008. And they took decision that the wedding should be nine (9) months later from that very day.
Unlike before, we only expirience a distance relationship by this period where we only hear through cellphone. Moreover, a peaceful relationship florished until when the wedding was around the corner.
By the beginning of the last quarter of 2009, I was already employed by Katsina State Ministry of Education, to teach Geography at Government Pilot Secondary School, Musawa — my home town school. Here, the relationship is short distanced, because Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays I am home in the metropolitan kano.
By the beginning of June, 2008, l was already in the midst of preparation for the wedding, which is to come on the first day of the month to follow — July, 2008. Suddenly, it was sent to us that the wedding is no more as stated, but on the 14th of the month, two months added; and we finally accepted, but not without argument.
The first week of the wedding month began with a conflict between the spouses; and that was as result of a claim by her step-mother and elder sister that they were not welcome honourably by my sick sister when they visited her in the family house. While one respectable woman, a neighbor to Naja´atu´s house that we call ´Mama´ was in the cause of doing all her possible best to resolve the misunderstanding between I and Naja´atu, and by now the lass had already noted her mistakes promising no repeat and very eager to see the dilemma over so as not lose a portion of the money she was expecting from me for the party she planned for her friends and family, since only seven days left.
Suddenly, Naja´atu´s father deligated Mama to my family, saying the wedding should be posponed again un August, a request that we rejected this time around.
When two weeks was added in the beginning I was not home, when I returned ahd heard of it I enqure the how about; they said they have another wedding a week behind at Zaria, and a week interval is not sufficient. I pleaded that why not they add only one week makinng the interval two weeks. They said: ´Never, we have already informed friends and relative, so there is no way to return and say date changed from 14th day of July to the 7th day.
……TO BE CONTINUED………TO BE CONTINUED